You have already decided your relationship is over. You already moved into separate rooms. You can’t afford to live in separate houses but you rarely talk to him. You don’t cook for him anymore but sometimes make a little extra just in case. You want to file for divorce but you are so busy with work and other things. Here are some reasons you might want to put things in motion.
5 Reasons why you would want to file for divorce right away.
1. You need money to pay your bills – spousal support or child support
You can’t receive support if you don’t ask for it. You have to both file for divorce and request an order that your spouse pay support. The soonest support can start is the first of the month after you file. The hearing may not be for a few months but support is ordered retroactive to when you file.
2. You are having trouble paying for rent or food for your children and need some child support.
You can’t receive child support if you don’t ask for it. If you are taking care of the children most of the time, a court should order child support. The sooner you file, the sooner you can start receiving child support. The other parent has the same obligation to provide for your child. Don’t let them put the responsibility all on you.
3. You need a parenting plan because you can’t agree on a schedule with your children
If you can’t speak with your spouse it is hard to agree on how you share the children. You can’t stand the thought of speaking with the other parent but the children want to see them too. Withholding the child from the other parent will not look good to the judge. When you file, the court will set a mediation date. The court ordered mediator will recommend a parenting plan if you can’t agree.
4. You need a restraining order – he is abusing you or your children, you are scared for your life.
Restraining orders are never easy but they are sometimes necessary. A restraining order won’t stop someone who wants to hurt you. Violating a restraining order can lead to your abuser’s arrest. Filing a restraining order can remove an abuser from your home. Courts typically grant a temporary order on an emergency basis once you file. A hearing will be held in a couple of weeks instead of a few months.
5. You just want to move on with your life
Even if your case doesn’t fall into one of the categories above, it can help to file. Sometimes you just want to move on with your life. There is a six month waiting period after filing divorce in California. This time starts after you file the papers and serve your spouse. You are already living separately. It feels like your relationship is over. But you still need to get divorced if you want to ever marry someone else. If you don’t have a lot of property together see my post We Don’t Have Anything, Why is This so Complicated?.