A client of mine objected to my advice after I helped him get time with his children. He said “But if I do what you are suggesting, I’m going to be nicer to her than I was when we were married!”
A few days later, when I called him to see how things were going, he sounded happy and said that he was on speaking terms with his the mother of his children who had just days earlier taken him to court for a restraining order.
This is the perfect example of what Attorney Mark Baer talks about in his recent article, “The Personality and Philosophy of Attorneys Impacts Results.”
When you are in a situation where two parents are neck and neck over how much time they should spend with their children, you can either fuel the client’s beliefs that the other parent is worthless or convince the clients to take the high road.
Pause for a moment and consider; would you want to be nice to someone who called you a liar in court documents and included details about private disputes that you didn’t want made public? Clients, in moments of emotional decision-making ask attorneys all the time to give one reason or another that the other parent should not see the children. Yet, unless there is some serious evidence of abuse, most of the time the accusations don’t result in the parent having zero time with the children. It does make that parent resent the one who made the accusations.
This is why I always thank Attorney Katherine Frye for her insightful lessons on handling child custody and visitation cases at Solo Practice University. At the core of her philosophy is that Attorneys must always remind clients to take the high road even when it seems the other parent is not playing fair. The client may not initially appreciate the suggestion but when they are able to work out a change in the custody schedule years later without involving the court, they will look back and remember the attorney who taught them to resolve disputes rather than escalating them.
No matter where you are in the process, consulting with an attorney can help you make your decision with a better understanding of what is at stake. Attorney Paul D. McGuire at the Law Office of Paul D. McGuire can help you with your child custody matters and other issues with your relationship. Call (858) 242-5667 today to schedule a free consultation.